For Everybody that wants to spice up his Student Life!
Making friends is anything but easy. Are you new at university or college and wondering how to meet new people? Have you just moved and don’t know how to connect in a new city or a new environment? Our social lives are becoming more and more digital which may seem less intimate, but we can leverage online tools to improve out social lives.
Let’s talk about solutions.
In this article you will learn how to:
How often do we catch ourselves doing things to please other people? We go to a Halloween party or sign up for a class because we don’t have anything else going on, or because a friend asked, and we didn’t want to disappoint them. But is this the right way?
You should be honest with yourself and think about what you enjoy. What activity do you give 100% to? Imagine how you can talk to others about »Your Topic«. You can immediately tell when a person really cares about something. These are the things we need to find in our lives. When you realise this, it is much easier to get up and go out.
“Self-confidence is gained by doing exactly what you are afraid of and thus gaining a series of successful experiences.“
– Dale Carnegie
It often seems to us that we are the only ones who have problems meeting other people. 17% of Germans feel lonely often or all the time.¹ And there’s that Mike who just meets new people by approaching them – How unfair! But these very people, have usually reflected very strongly on themselves to be so open.
Realising that other people have the same fears when they come into contact with others can be very helpful in facing fear. No one is free of fears, encouraging a conversation is a great symbol of openness and a compliment on top of it.
How do you feel when someone needs your help and you can do a favour with ease. That’s right – you feel better. A meta-study shows that it improves overall well-being.² This doesn’t mean that everyone is helpful so that they improve their well-being, but it is clear that helping others provides a hormone boost increasing happiness.
Also, the Benjamin Franklin effect makes people like you more when they’ve done you a favour. Sounds bizarre? A study from Japan shows that the effect discovered by Benjamin Franklin has scientific support.³
Easier said than done. Again, what do you enjoy? Find communities of your hobbies and drop in.
Feeling uncomfortable going alone? If it feels uncomfortable to go alone, think about taking another person with you. Or think about people you could meet who could refresh your social life.
A tip: Commit, e.g. a commitment to a club or a club meeting, to encourage yourself to go.
Take the first step. Talk to people and start the conversation with a compliment: “Your jumper is cool”. You will see how quickly a pleasant conversation develops. The more often you take the first step, the easier it will be for you to approach people.
There are apps that offer you a good opportunity to meet people based on your interests. Especially »MeetUp« is worth mentioning, where you can join groups and create new ones.
I don’t recommend other apps like Tinder and the like. You will spend more time “swiping” than having real encounters. This is exactly how these apps make their money. Check out our article on “7 reasons why You should spend less time on Social Media” to learn more about how apps influence your perception.
You can also check out what your university and/or the AStA (Allgemeiner Studierendenausschuss) offers to help you network better. Maybe there is even a »Connou« at your university/college.
It is never easy to meet other people when you are new to a city. You have to invest time to “socialise” so that you meet new exciting acquaintances. Maybe you should rethink your behaviour, this step will be rewarded with personal growth. You learn how to behave towards strangers and how new people enrich your life.
You can use little tricks to make your life easier. However, you should keep in mind that it is a process comparable to training your body. Therefore, always stay on the ball and be gentle with yourself!